PHP Blast Off

I’ve been programming in PHP for as long as I can remember really. And it has served me; but it hasn’t quite satisfied me. It work swell enough, but it feels a bit rough and “primitive” sometimes.

But you know, it has kept the money rolling in.

So, for some time I’ve been contemplating trying to partly move on from PHP not only in my spare time programming but also professionally, and I think the moment has arrived for this metamorphosis to start.

PHP’s bad rep

Although PHP is known to be a bit of a mess I think a lot of the critique is misplaced these days. Many of the popular “this is what’s wrong with PHP” blog posts mention issues that have been resolved long ago (as of 2022).

Most recently PHP 8 has brought plenty of changes and has really added to the language in, I feel, a mostly positive way.

So I think its bad rep is mostly undeserved in 2022.

“Fractal badness”

Check out this rather comprehensive list of PHP faults and inconsistencies. Note however that it’s old and a lot of the issues have been fixed.

Perl is “some assembly required”.
Python is “batteries included”.
PHP is “kitchen sink, but it’s from Canada and both faucets are labeled C“.

from PHP: a fractal of bad design - fuzzy notepad

the C-faucet is a reference to this joke: Final Jeopardy: The Last Joke.

Some defenses on PHP in response to the above can be found here and here.

Regarding Wordpress

The Complicated Futility of WordPress

Alternative CMSes

What I want

It’s not only about the language though. I guess I’m just tired of working the way PHP, and Wordpress in particular, expects you to work.

I want change. I want something that feels more powerful and flexible.

And most importantly I want to learn new things about how programming language theory, computers, OSes and networks work on a deeper level. And to to that I will have to venture outside of the calm webby realm of PHP’s dominance and influence.

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